Why I Am Who I Am.

A friend asked me what was my testimony, so I started writing... this, with a couple of changes (things that had to do with her and are reasonably meaningless in the grand scheme of things) is what came out.

OK, my testimony. What part do you want? My whole testimony, or my call to ministry?? I'll start writing and see what comes out.

I was raised in a pastor's home. Dad was a preacher for 25-ish years until my parents divorced, and he resigned. I vaguely remember being somewhere in Nevada, but don't REALLY remember stuff until we moved to Montana (Billings). I think I was 4-ish when we moved there, and started school there and stuff... when I was about 6, my dad preached a message on a Sunday night that had to do with Salvation, and people went forward and spent time at the altar and stuff, and it was a great service... after church, people had gone home, and we were heading downstairs (just my dad and me, the rest were already back down there--our parsonage was connected to the church) and I asked if I could pray a prayer like that, too... he looked at me a little surprised, and said "YES!! Of course!!" so we went back up and my dad lead me through the experience.

Probably an event that had more impact on my life..at least in a more tangible way..was another time while we lived in Montana. We were out hiking in the Wisconsin woods as a family, and we got lost. Had left the beaten path, and then couldn't find our way back to the parking lot where we'd parked. So we stopped, dad explained the situation, and we held hands and prayed as a family. Dad told us all to pray, so I did... As I prayed, I clearly heard a voice saying, "Go through there" and a picture appeared to my mind. I opened my eyes, looked up, and there was the picture I'd seen in my mind... so I told my dad, "I think we're supposed to go through there"... he asked why and I told him about the voice and seeing it in my mind, and so we went 'through there.' the way I remember it, we were at the parking lot minutes later. So it was one of the anchors in my life--the first time I heard God's voice, trusted it, and it was proven right.

My life was anything but pure from then on. I think I was saved every summer at camps, and backslid every year in school. I had a foul mouth, serious issues with lying and anger and girls (even as a kid). but somewhere after high school, I was at Jesus Northwest (an old festival they used to have here in the Portland area), coming back out of the concert area (I can't remember who'd just played) and heard God's voice again--very clearly--calling me to teach school and work with teens in a smaller youth ministry on the side. So that's what I pursued at college.

Again, at college, I was anything but sanctified or really even living an overly strong Christian life. But I still believed, and was slowly walking the walk. Somewhere around Jr year, I started getting this nagging feeling about going overseas... so I slowly started looking at it. I found nothing. I heard over and over again about how needed teachers were at missions schools, but got no connections to an actual school that needed someone, but the feeling got stronger and stronger that I needed to spend some time overseas. Finally, one of my best friends connected with a school up at the hospital (in the highlands of Papua New Guinea), and Verne Ward (who talked with her) asked if she had any friends who might be interested... she told him about me, but said I was secondary, and wanted to teach older kids, so he said that was OK... and told her about Lae Christian Academy. I got connected there, and it was a perfect fit!! So I went.

During those 2 1/2 years over there, I got these increasingly pervasive feelings about preaching. I pushed them away because I had absolutely no desire to be a minister. But I couldn't deny that I was having these feelings.

I came home, and started working various jobs, letting my mind rest (a story for another day..I'd burnt myself out because of my position over there, combined with not being ready for a position like that). And during that time, started in on what I felt like was God's calling for my life..teaching and volunteering with teens... so I started volunteering at Central, and soon was the lead youth worker there at Central. About a year and a little into that was when our pastor came and asked what I thought about letting my name stand before the board as an option for youth pastor. I told him no flat out... I said if I were in Portland the next year, I'd be teaching high school, but wanted to stay connected and helping out with teens. So he wasn't too discouraged, and said maybe we could work something out where I was on staff part-time at the church and teaching full time... that was an interesting suggestion to me, but I wasn't sold.... I still was vehemently opposed to being a pastor, period.

But a couple of months later, he mentioned it again, and before I could say no again, he said he wanted me to pray about it. (Later I learned he'd been praying too, and couldn't get away from the idea of me as the guy for the job). So I prayed... two weeks straight, I prayed every night, with irritation, passion, desire, etc. It was after church on a Sunday night... we'd had an afterglow and I went home and was praying about it... God said Yes!! the same audible voice I'd heard through my life said YES. So I pulled a Gideon and told God he needed to clarify. And He said, without hesitation, "I Already Have." and He brought to mind several things in my life that had been happening that were so obviously His direction (People at the church--parents and teens--asking why I wasn't their youth pastor, God's several year nagging that I was to preach, and a couple more that I can't think of right now).

So here I Am... four and a half years later, youth pastor, called to ministry, Christian without doubt, preacher, and all that.