I'm sorry... I'm starting to get into writing again. When I lived overseas, I'd send an e-mail or two home each week to everyone on my mailing list letting them know how things were going. I got so much cool feedback from that... when I missed a normal posting, people would e-mail me to let me know they were hoping I'd hurry up and get it out... I loved that feedback. I love feedback in general.
I got to thinking about the excuses thing again. The other night, playing rugby for the first time in ages, as much as I enjoyed it, I was completely NOT ready to really work like that: running, hitting. I'm out of shape, and haven't hit in ages. So there were several times through the evening--primarily when we were running--that I started thinking: "I've been pretty lax with the working out lately... I think I can call it a night. No one will BLAME me!! They'll understand... then, next week, I'll be back and run harder." It was tempting, I got to tell you... I wanted to quit and go home for a while. It's HARD to run when you haven't for ages. But I knew it'd be over soon and I could push through.
I ran cross country in High School. I was no good at it; i only ran to be in shape for wrestling season (and I really wasn't any good at wrestling either... I knew all the moves, but I was skinny and weak). But I knew some of the in's and out's of running. At one meet, I came around a corner to find a guy walking, holding his side, obviously feeling the pain in the side we've all felt when we run hard. I slowed down and told him to keep running and it'd pass. He said wha...? So I told him again... It'll pass, just keep going!! A few minutes later, here comes this kid: he passed me and beat me--All cause I told him the pain would pass.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the excuses we make. I talked about how my excuses against relationships were weak but how so many of us use excuses like those with God. I've been thinking these last few days how so many of us are so desperate to be right with God. We start the journey, but too often, here comes that familiar pain in the side!! It starts to hurt a little... we start to be uncomfortable. And many of us convince ourselves that instead of running through, we need to "get used to it". So we quit and tell ourselves we'll start up another day. You know, as long as I ran, I still got those pains in the side from time to time.
And as long as I've been a Christian, it's gotten uncomfortable from time to time. 1st Corinthians 9 talks about running the race to win. That's how we should live! You want to win?? you don't quit at the first ache in the side.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Acceptance
When I was in the 8th grade, my family moved to Mexico. It was about then that my hair turned grey in a spot on the back of my head, but that's an entirely different story!! While we lived down there (some of the best years of my life, but the way!!) my dad kept his more-than-full-time job in LA. Occasionally, me, my brother, or my sister would come to LA for a week at a time with our dad, and just hang out. We did our home school lessons, and roamed the streets of LA, looking for fun!!
At some point during those years, I got the mistaken impression that I could play basketball... so I went down to the playgrounds downtown LA and waited for "next!!" When the time came, I jumped on the court, along with the local Kobe's and Shaq's, and played a version of "shooting guard". At least that's where they let me run.. and they even threw me the ball from time to time. It was heaven for a 14 year old teenager who weighed about as much as a juvenile golden retriever!! They passed me the ball, I shot and missed horribly... they passed it again!! and occasionally I'd connect the next pass, and they'd tell me I did great!! It was unbelievable how guys--who really could have played for lots of colleges--accepted me and let me play. They didn't care that I stunk, and they didn't care that they lost the game. It was more important that I got to play.
Tonight, having talked with Jackie about her rugby team for the last few weeks, I got enough of an urge that I went out and practiced with the Portland Pigs, the local semi-pro team!! Oh my goodness how I've missed rugby!! I've missed being pooped... I've missed hitting!! I've missed BEING hit!!
At the end of practice, we all got into a circle, and went around the circle and said our names. when they got to the 'new guys', they all yelled out "NEW GUY!!!" and everyone said 'good to have you' or 'welcome' or 'alright!!' and clapped... after practice, I asked where I could find some decent cleats in town, and a guy didn't even hesitate to point me to the closest joint that had good prices... Fascinating!! They didn't care if I knew how to play (I know this because the other two new guys tonight had never played before... and the veterans were STILL excited to have them!!).
I walked away feeling like part of the team (on day one!).
Why is it so easy for athletes to welcome, and so hard for Christians? Maybe it's not all Christians, and it's for sure not all athletes, but why aren't we excited when people check out Christianity like athletes are when other guys check out a new sport!!
It's a thought... I wish we'd be excited when people come in and check out God!! I wish we'd let them be BRAND new to it all!! I wish we'd be OK when they do the entirely WRONG thing, and in a friendly way, let them know it's no big deal, but this is how we do it.
What if instead of feeling like an intruder on a club event, every visitor to church felt like part of the team when they walked away after day one??
At some point during those years, I got the mistaken impression that I could play basketball... so I went down to the playgrounds downtown LA and waited for "next!!" When the time came, I jumped on the court, along with the local Kobe's and Shaq's, and played a version of "shooting guard". At least that's where they let me run.. and they even threw me the ball from time to time. It was heaven for a 14 year old teenager who weighed about as much as a juvenile golden retriever!! They passed me the ball, I shot and missed horribly... they passed it again!! and occasionally I'd connect the next pass, and they'd tell me I did great!! It was unbelievable how guys--who really could have played for lots of colleges--accepted me and let me play. They didn't care that I stunk, and they didn't care that they lost the game. It was more important that I got to play.
Tonight, having talked with Jackie about her rugby team for the last few weeks, I got enough of an urge that I went out and practiced with the Portland Pigs, the local semi-pro team!! Oh my goodness how I've missed rugby!! I've missed being pooped... I've missed hitting!! I've missed BEING hit!!
At the end of practice, we all got into a circle, and went around the circle and said our names. when they got to the 'new guys', they all yelled out "NEW GUY!!!" and everyone said 'good to have you' or 'welcome' or 'alright!!' and clapped... after practice, I asked where I could find some decent cleats in town, and a guy didn't even hesitate to point me to the closest joint that had good prices... Fascinating!! They didn't care if I knew how to play (I know this because the other two new guys tonight had never played before... and the veterans were STILL excited to have them!!).
I walked away feeling like part of the team (on day one!).
Why is it so easy for athletes to welcome, and so hard for Christians? Maybe it's not all Christians, and it's for sure not all athletes, but why aren't we excited when people check out Christianity like athletes are when other guys check out a new sport!!
It's a thought... I wish we'd be excited when people come in and check out God!! I wish we'd let them be BRAND new to it all!! I wish we'd be OK when they do the entirely WRONG thing, and in a friendly way, let them know it's no big deal, but this is how we do it.
What if instead of feeling like an intruder on a club event, every visitor to church felt like part of the team when they walked away after day one??
Monday, February 19, 2007
Homeless
I hung out tonight with some of the coolest people in our youth group. We went to Dairy Queen threw a dirty sock back and forth, and then some of us ended up going to Powell's Books... we had a blast... I dropped them off, and started to head home to chill and maybe play some X-Box... but first I had to stop at the church and pick up my computer and stuff. So I walked around the corner to open the door and turn off the alarm, and my evening started!
There was Patrick. I knew him not. We looked at each other, I'm thinking both of us a little unsure what to expect. He, perhaps knowing that he might be quickly asked to leave the property, and me never knowing what's really going on in that mind.
I always try to be as natural as possible in those situations (this is the third time I've walked around that corner to find a homeless guy standing--or sleeping--there). So I just said Hey... and he said it back.. and then he just started talking. He was Patrick, a street preacher. Are you a preacher, too... I said yeah... I work with the teens here. So we were kindred spirits from moment one.
The rub is this--and I hate it!! I stood with him (in a short-sleeved shirt) for close to an hour (of course he's still out there). We talked religion, church ethics, church praxis, discipleship, and evangelism. He challenged me to open a men's house and take guys into my house to disciple them. I really don't think he was hinting at taking him into my house... I think he was honestly espousing the best discipleship method he knew of, which was to live with people. I gave him a Bible, and he was in awe that I gave him a new one. I gave him tracts, cause he showed me his, and his supply was diminishing. I gave him respect cause he was homeless, and they get so little. I gave him some reheated pizza cause it's so nice to get warm food when you're cold. I gave him some loaves of bread for the road. He assured me he had a campsite across town, but I gave him a really old (but really thick) sleeping bag cause I knew it was just taking up space in our storage room upstairs, and I couldn't remember the last time we needed it. I told him when he made it back to his campsite on the west-side, give the bag to some other guy who could use it.
And I walked away wondering why I was uncomfortable letting him in the church. I talked with him, know his name, much of his past few months of life (jail, solitary, no tv, good hot meals, bum rap). I walked away wondering if my rationalization that you can never fully trust in those situations is true. I also walked away thinking how Jesus handled those situations. Many times, he simply did what He could and said go and sin no more!! Would it have looked the same on a cold NW night?
I walked away both knowing that I'd met with Jesus, and wondering if I was supposed to do more? Knowing that he was hungry, and I gave him food; he was cold, and I gave him a sleeping bag; he was tired... I could do nothing about that; he was lonely, and I talked with him and prayed with him for an hour; he was there, and I loved him... but DID I?
I'm not espousing a spirituality that regularly undermines our efforts. I do not believe it's healthy or righteous to put out a false humility. At the same time, however, it's important that we not decieve ourselves. Was I Patrick's neighbor?? I think so... was I the kind of neighbor I'd hope to find (if I'm ever cold, hungry, tired, just out of jail, and all that??)... I'm thinking not the one I'd hope to find, but what I'd--unfortunately--expect to find... and is that OK?
There was Patrick. I knew him not. We looked at each other, I'm thinking both of us a little unsure what to expect. He, perhaps knowing that he might be quickly asked to leave the property, and me never knowing what's really going on in that mind.
I always try to be as natural as possible in those situations (this is the third time I've walked around that corner to find a homeless guy standing--or sleeping--there). So I just said Hey... and he said it back.. and then he just started talking. He was Patrick, a street preacher. Are you a preacher, too... I said yeah... I work with the teens here. So we were kindred spirits from moment one.
The rub is this--and I hate it!! I stood with him (in a short-sleeved shirt) for close to an hour (of course he's still out there). We talked religion, church ethics, church praxis, discipleship, and evangelism. He challenged me to open a men's house and take guys into my house to disciple them. I really don't think he was hinting at taking him into my house... I think he was honestly espousing the best discipleship method he knew of, which was to live with people. I gave him a Bible, and he was in awe that I gave him a new one. I gave him tracts, cause he showed me his, and his supply was diminishing. I gave him respect cause he was homeless, and they get so little. I gave him some reheated pizza cause it's so nice to get warm food when you're cold. I gave him some loaves of bread for the road. He assured me he had a campsite across town, but I gave him a really old (but really thick) sleeping bag cause I knew it was just taking up space in our storage room upstairs, and I couldn't remember the last time we needed it. I told him when he made it back to his campsite on the west-side, give the bag to some other guy who could use it.
And I walked away wondering why I was uncomfortable letting him in the church. I talked with him, know his name, much of his past few months of life (jail, solitary, no tv, good hot meals, bum rap). I walked away wondering if my rationalization that you can never fully trust in those situations is true. I also walked away thinking how Jesus handled those situations. Many times, he simply did what He could and said go and sin no more!! Would it have looked the same on a cold NW night?
I walked away both knowing that I'd met with Jesus, and wondering if I was supposed to do more? Knowing that he was hungry, and I gave him food; he was cold, and I gave him a sleeping bag; he was tired... I could do nothing about that; he was lonely, and I talked with him and prayed with him for an hour; he was there, and I loved him... but DID I?
I'm not espousing a spirituality that regularly undermines our efforts. I do not believe it's healthy or righteous to put out a false humility. At the same time, however, it's important that we not decieve ourselves. Was I Patrick's neighbor?? I think so... was I the kind of neighbor I'd hope to find (if I'm ever cold, hungry, tired, just out of jail, and all that??)... I'm thinking not the one I'd hope to find, but what I'd--unfortunately--expect to find... and is that OK?
Monday, February 12, 2007
Expectations
I just kind of want to write. I enjoy writing. Sometimes I feel like I can say some reasonably important things when I just write, but other times, I write paragraph after paragraph only to delete it all and walk away without putting a word into the public arena.
But tonight, I'm sitting here unable to sleep. I actually DID fall asleep on the couch, and when I decided to stop fighting it, and went to my bed, put on some Harry Connick Jr, and curled up, of course, the sleep moment had passed, and I sat there alert and 'pensive' which is one of the moods you can select when you write these blogs--I dare you to pick it someday and just see who pokes fun at you... haha :)
We had retreat last weekend. I don't know that I've had a retreat as fun as this one. Not that past retreats haven't been fun, and there are some people who would have been fun to have around (Ian, Bobby, Jeff, Holly, Brandy, etc, etc...) But there was something cool about this weekend. It started Friday night when one guy who's a little newer to church 'culture' (curse that concept) said he was expecting a 'life-changing experience' this weekend. I'd asked kids to share (if they wanted) what they were hoping for as they came on this weekend. Kids talked about release, relaxation, fun, a word from God, clarification, peace, understanding, and then this guy throws out 'life-changing-experience' to which, one of our adorable girls (who I love dearly) says, 'no pressure, jeremy'.... haha... honestly I'd felt NONE!
How cool is it when people throw out expectations like that which are the expectations we SHOULD throw out when talking to and about God (huge)!! He threw it out, and I believe God brought it. That was Friday night... Saturday night, after our chapel-type session, This guy walked away with one of my guitars and wrote an unbelievable song.
We can throw out expectations, and when they're honest and in line with something God already wants to bring, what happens except that God brings it!
I think that's child-like faith (the New Testament talks about that... actually, it's Jesus). A faith that says bring it! A faith that says, 'I skipped some stuff to be here, because I believe you're going to get inside of me and make me different!!'
But tonight, I'm sitting here unable to sleep. I actually DID fall asleep on the couch, and when I decided to stop fighting it, and went to my bed, put on some Harry Connick Jr, and curled up, of course, the sleep moment had passed, and I sat there alert and 'pensive' which is one of the moods you can select when you write these blogs--I dare you to pick it someday and just see who pokes fun at you... haha :)
We had retreat last weekend. I don't know that I've had a retreat as fun as this one. Not that past retreats haven't been fun, and there are some people who would have been fun to have around (Ian, Bobby, Jeff, Holly, Brandy, etc, etc...) But there was something cool about this weekend. It started Friday night when one guy who's a little newer to church 'culture' (curse that concept) said he was expecting a 'life-changing experience' this weekend. I'd asked kids to share (if they wanted) what they were hoping for as they came on this weekend. Kids talked about release, relaxation, fun, a word from God, clarification, peace, understanding, and then this guy throws out 'life-changing-experience' to which, one of our adorable girls (who I love dearly) says, 'no pressure, jeremy'.... haha... honestly I'd felt NONE!
How cool is it when people throw out expectations like that which are the expectations we SHOULD throw out when talking to and about God (huge)!! He threw it out, and I believe God brought it. That was Friday night... Saturday night, after our chapel-type session, This guy walked away with one of my guitars and wrote an unbelievable song.
We can throw out expectations, and when they're honest and in line with something God already wants to bring, what happens except that God brings it!
I think that's child-like faith (the New Testament talks about that... actually, it's Jesus). A faith that says bring it! A faith that says, 'I skipped some stuff to be here, because I believe you're going to get inside of me and make me different!!'
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Faith
Honest question: How have I really stepped out in faith lately? Ever?
Seriously... my job is pretty laid back. I have a comfortable salary. I drive a car that doesn't break down (cause I can afford to... cause of the salary). I don't have to support family anywhere... life is pretty simple. And is it supposed to be like that??
I've been kind of getting pulled through a fire lately, and have been forced to start questioning: how have I stepped out??
And I've had to conclude that I haven't. I haven't put myself on the line for much of anything lately. And I feel like a dork for it.
Seriously... my job is pretty laid back. I have a comfortable salary. I drive a car that doesn't break down (cause I can afford to... cause of the salary). I don't have to support family anywhere... life is pretty simple. And is it supposed to be like that??
I've been kind of getting pulled through a fire lately, and have been forced to start questioning: how have I stepped out??
And I've had to conclude that I haven't. I haven't put myself on the line for much of anything lately. And I feel like a dork for it.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Staying Single
I think I'm going to just wait to get married until I'm perfect. I mean let's face it, I'm kind of perfect right now, but I think I'll wait until I own a nice house, have all my debt paid off, have a PhD in something... and the dream job (this one's pretty stinking close). Cause seriously, why walk into something when I'm not quite ready... why should I commit to something like marriage when I'm not prepared for it?? So I think I'll wait. I think I'll just get everything nailed down first, and then worry about a spouse.
Seriously, that's what it feels like when people tell me they "just aren't ready" to begin to know God. They tell me they need to figure some things out first, or live first, or experience the other side first... it feels like people are saying what I just said up above. To wait until everything's perfectly nailed down or until you understand everything perfectly isn't going to happen. You'll never get there. If I were to wait until I had everything perfectly figured out to get married, it'd never happen... As soon as I crossed one marker, another'd pop up down the road a ways, and I'd be single until the day I died. Which just might happen, but God forbid it happens because I'm foolish about it. I'm comfortable being single; but I'm not comfortable being foolish about it.
And I'm not comfortable with people using foolish excuses when they consider God. Think about your life... where are you with God?? Have you used this excuse??
Seriously, that's what it feels like when people tell me they "just aren't ready" to begin to know God. They tell me they need to figure some things out first, or live first, or experience the other side first... it feels like people are saying what I just said up above. To wait until everything's perfectly nailed down or until you understand everything perfectly isn't going to happen. You'll never get there. If I were to wait until I had everything perfectly figured out to get married, it'd never happen... As soon as I crossed one marker, another'd pop up down the road a ways, and I'd be single until the day I died. Which just might happen, but God forbid it happens because I'm foolish about it. I'm comfortable being single; but I'm not comfortable being foolish about it.
And I'm not comfortable with people using foolish excuses when they consider God. Think about your life... where are you with God?? Have you used this excuse??
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